There are so many expressions in each language that refer to the fact that people cannot change:

"A leopard can't change its spots."

"You can't teach an old dog new tricks."

"Once a cheater, always a cheater."

"People don't change, they just reveal who they really are."


I don't agree with them. Or rather I preffer this one: "Old habits die hard." 

Because old habits can die.

People can change their behaviour.

Anyone can learn new tricks at any age.

Someone who cheated in the past can be a faithful partner.

People can reveal who they truly are, once they are able to change.


What I'm learning from my experience with becoming abstinant from sugar, quite a big change I might add, is that you need some very important things.

- you need a very strong reason why, one that will get you in your frontal lobe anytime you crave or wish to go back to your old habits,

- you need support, a community of people who you feel you can conform to, or who will understand you and help you find and remember you why,

- you need to have patience and practice self-compassion and self care. Be kind to yourself, especially if you make a mistake, get back on track and celebrate your wins.


I managed to make quite a long introduction to what I actually wanted to write when I sat down for this blog post. And that is what Massive Attack's song Teardrop was mentioning, that love is a verb, a doing word, that can be measured by action.

People who love you will do things for you, like change.

And you can tell how much you love someone by how much you are willing to do for them.

It doesn't mean that if someone hasn't changed for you he or she didn't love you.

But it does mean that if someone changes for you, and constantly does things for you, they love you.