Some posts (like some people) might appear to be really small / meaningless, when in fact they hide such treasured wisdom. This is one of them. Cause these days I figured out something big - why they say: find yourself / love yourself, before you can love someone else, and how you can actually do it.
First, we all have love languages, and as long as we don't know what our language is, we can't identify people with the same language as ours. For example, both my parents have "Acts of Services" as their love language. They may not get along all the time, but it's enough for one of them to do something nice for the other, and they immediately know they are good. I'm more of a Quality Time, Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch kind of girl, so very different things let me know naturally that you care.

Then there is the personality type. They say different types complement each-other, but at least when it comes to mine, INFJs have a very hard time finding partners that can rise up to the same level of care they can offer. Because as hard as another type might try, they'll fail miserably at bringing in the same level of attention and affection in a relationship. So I believe an INFJ needs another INFJ to really blow his mind by surpassing his expectations and conquer his heart, and that an INFJ might be the only one with the empathy and resources to make another INFJ feel truly cared for. (The problem is we are f-ing unicorns. Like literally, the INFJ male is the rarest type on the planet. Lucky me...)
And finally, there's the attachment style. Depending on how you were raised your style can be secure, anxious or avoidant. 80% of men are avoidant / cold, as they're usually raised to be strong / tough and are not comfortable with theirs or other's emotions. While women are commonly more anxious and in touch with their feelings. The ideal type to be is secure, but to get there you have to be in a long term relationship where both of you feel safe. And that rarely happens with the avoidant.. avoiding things, and the anxious continuously fighting insecurities fueled by avoidance. But an anxious like me can feel safe around another anxious person. And I guess if avoidants stop avoiding themselves they can make things work too.
So in a nutshell, go find yourself, and then go find yourself in someone else, cause that's how you find someone that's truly good for you.
PS: 1600th post on this blog.